What Is Fair
by YinYangSisters
Summary: Because life is never fair. Luck is never on your side. At least for her, it wasn't. AxC


Hellooe my beautiful people! I've missed you guys! :D So, this is just a one shot to get me back in the writing game...this will be followed by a lot more, I assure. Then, I'm going to be working on a big story again. I am soooooooo amazed at how well my other story 'This Life' has progressed! I can't believe it...thank you all so much!

I hope you enjoy this story; those who are allergic to angst...get some tissues and have an allergy pill.

- Yin

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN GUNDAM SEED/GUNDAM SEED DESTINY

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**Fair**

The kettle boiled; steam rose and fogged up the windows of the kitchen.

Cagalli's eyes snapped from the window that was frosted over, and stared vacantly at the kettle. When did everything become such a job? The thought of getting up from that cold spot was making her all the more desperate to stay; this was one of the rare days that she has off. Couldn't she be lazy?

Blonde hair was sprawled over cold cheeks that had not risen to smile in a while, and her eyes didn't blink as she continued to do nothing. 7 months since the Second Bloody Valentine War, and still no improvement of mending her and her heart whatsoever. Still broken. Still bleeding.

Though, still beating.

Her legs swiveled so that they dangled off the window sill, and her toes brushed the tip of the floor. She knew that it was cold; though she didn't know whether it was her toes, or the floor. She should really turn the heating on. Her mind begged, her heart pleaded for her to huddle herself up on the window sill again, and in response, the young Chief Representative rose, making her way to the condensated kettle.

Because it is known fact that Cagalli Yula Attha never gives herself a break.

She pours the the now only warm water over a tea bag in a mug; the same mug she used when she was forced to drink all those cups of coffee when she was a part of Desert Dawn. It felt as if she were so young, back then. So...free. She'd spend her days with Ahmed, she remembered; the boy who had died without telling her he had supposedly loved her. The fact that she couldn't ever go back to that place and accept his warm hugs again made her shiver every time. She was sure that if anyone, Ahmed wasn't the one who would die.

The weather was hot there; the people fearful, the hope radiating off their village. There was a bakery in the corner of the village that she would go if she ever had a free minute. They served the best carrot cake, she remembered. And she also remembered that she had told Kira that those people would fight so hard over a pile of sand; they probably were still like that.

But how would she know? It had been over 2 years that she had talked to them. If she had known those rushed hugs of goodbyes would be the last, she wouldn't have let go. If she would've known that Ahmed would've died, she would've lied and told him she loved him too, so that he would be completely happy in his last moments. If she would've known that would be her last cup of disgustingly strong coffee there, she would've savoured every drop.

"Shit," Cagalli whispered, gripping the handle of her mug. "Has it really been that long?"

After a pause, she shook her head, and stared at the mug of tea infront of her. Why did she make this? She doesn't even like tea. Her eyes glanced at the sugar jar, and she un-intentionaly stared at it. She used to have, on average, at least 4 spoonfuls of sugar in her tea. Kisaka always told her she would get diabetes, and her answer would always being adding another spoonful.

But now, she has no sugar. She drinks the bitter liquid, because for now, that is enough.

Reality hit her hard right then, because it _had _been that long. The days of carrying that gun on her back are over. The days nodding in the mirror after getting changed into Khaki Pants, her favourite red T-shirt and black army boots were gone. The days of walking through parks and just being _herself_ was gone.

And the sad truth was, they weren't coming back.

Now, instead, she carries whats left of her pride instead of her gun. She cries at the reflection of her dressed in her Representative uniform, because it isn't Cagalli she sees; just a shell of nothing. Instead, she stays up long into the night, questioning the moon and stars the questions that she fears to ask herself.

Because life is never fair.

Luck is never on your side.

At least for her, it never was.

The steady knock at the door makes Cagalli jump, and life becomes real again. She knows who it is as she walks slowly, almost timidly to the door, and she opens it slowly, the cold not cutting like a knife like she thought it would. Instead, she felt no difference, and that worried her.

Athrun stood there, staring at an angle so that he looked at the door frame. Blue locks of midnight blue hair whipped his face, as the brittle wind tried to cut through his body. He didn't look as if he felt it. He didn't look as if he felt anything.

Cagalli realized then, that for the first time, they looked alike for once.

Athrun's emerald eyes flew up to her, and he smiled; it was small, cracked and broken. But it was there. It was for her. She unknowingly mimicked his small smile, and reached out hesitantly and touched his hand with her fingertips. Both were cold; too cold for either to notice.

Athrun twisted his hand, just as shy as her, as his fingertips touched hers; gently, fearfully.

Cagalli could smell him now; though he didn't look it or feel it, Athrun smelt warm, musky. Comforting. Protective. Safe. To her, he smelt like home. He smelt just like he smelt on that island 2 and a half years ago. He smelt of memories. He smelt of love. He smelt of late nights talking in a dorm on the Archangel. He smelt of kissing at the most stupidest times, and giving rings to the girl you love in the stupidest ways.

His smell made her let out a small breath she didn't know she was holding.

She looks beautiful today, Athrun notes. Thinner, yes, but still beautiful. Just as beautiful as the day they met. More beautiful than the flowers he used to buy for her. Just as beautiful as when she would sneeze for days after, and insist she wasn't allergic. Just as beautiful as when she blushed everytime he would kiss her, hug her, tease her, love her.

Her fingertips on his make him feel better; about something he didn't even know he felt bad about. He felt relieved, as if a weight was lifted. No more being Commander, General or Captain Zala. No more saluting when someone of a high status walks past.

Right here, as he pushes his hand slowly so that his and Cagalli's palms bump, and he is simply...Athrun. Athrun who secretly holds Cagalli close while he sleeps because she's warm. Athrun who made cookies for Cagalli when she was sad, just so she could eat the dough because he knows she loved it. Athrun who cries sometimes because he misses his mother, and allows Cagalli to rock him, stroke his hair, and kiss away his tears to sleep.

"O-oh...I'm sorry," Cagalli says in a small voice. "You must be cold."

Athrun doesn't say anything, and allows himself to be gently pulled in to the surprisingly cold mansion infront of him. The door shuts quietly behind them, and Cagalli doesn't bother to move back to give him space; neither does he.

His forearms raise beside either side of the pair, as if offering a hug of some sort. He doesn't have much to offer anymore; nothing but a broken heart to a girl he's been in love with from the very start. Nothing but the supposedly excellent fried rice that Cagalli loves. Nothing but rides in his Infinite Justice GUNDAM when the nights are dark, and they both feel at their worst.

Cagalli hesitates, but her arms raise also. The tips of her fingers graze the skin of his shirt in a not so straight line as she stops at the fold of his arms. Athrun can feel her touch through his green jumper; one he thought was meant to be his thickest. His long, thin fingers curl around the soft curve of her elbow, and he stroked the cold, velvet soft skin that covers it. She smells like something sweet and something spicy; with a touch of something addictive. Something he now cannot live without.

Upon chance, maybe even luck, their eyes rise from the gentle connection of their forearms, and meet with the understanding that both of them were hoping for. Emerald and amber eyes shake in concentration, in desperation, in restraint to hold back tears that were never wanted.

Cagalli didn't know why; for the life of her she didn't; but there was something in her, something left in her that made her raise her head slowly and brush her lips accross Athrun's gently, timidly, longingly.

Athrun eyes widen, but his body doesn't stiffen. Instead, it marvels, glorifies thanks the heavens that what he wanted most was given to him whole heartedly. He moves his head slowly, so his lips brush hers in an identical manner. He remembers now, how soft they are. How unlike, both their body temperatures, warm they are.

Cagalli almost cries in sadness, happiness, lonliness, greif and joyfulness at how Athrun kisses her back. And she too remembers, how his lips are gentle, safe and silky smooth. Hesitantly, they bring their face closer, so that their noses bump gently, and their foreheads are ready for resting on when they pull apart.

No, it wasn't fair that they were almost in tears. It wasn't fair that it took months for a first kiss. It wasn't fair that love had to go even longer without being said. It was fair that the people who had done most of the right for this world, had to suffer most of the wrong.

But what _is _fair, these days?

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Hope you guys enjoyed it; it would mean the world to me if you review.

Thanks for reading.

- Yin


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